5 Losses Behind Your Constant Quest for Perfection

Some people think that idealism or perfection is a good quality, but what they do not know is that the constant search for perfection or idealism is considered defects in character. The constant search for perfection has a huge cost to your relationships and all areas of your life. The search for perfection is your way to more stress, anxiety and disappointments. The problem is not being perfect or perfect, but in your pursuit of perfection, it sounds confusing, but as you follow the lines of this article, you may be able to better understand the difference.

Do you remember getting nineteen out of twenty on a language test and your parents or one of them scolds you for not getting the final score. Or did they shut up but showed signs of dissatisfaction especially when you told them your classmate got the full grade? Well, this is the beginning for some on the path of perpetual search for perfection. They have long heard that they are not good enough or not successful enough and that they are not a source of pride.

You find yourself setting personal standards for success, standards that are impossible to achieve and turn into a real nightmare when those criteria are imposed on the others. Your friends feel that no matter what they say or do, they are not worthy of your friendship, and then it turns to your partner if you even succeed in getting along with one of them, which is very difficult. Your constant pursuit of perfection makes you prone to depression, constant anxiety, and sometimes suicide... Yes, don't be surprised, this has happened to many, they could not bear the experiences of failure that were often a success that did not live up to their expectations.

You may be wondering now am I a perfectionist? If things from your point of view are only black and white and you see yourself as someone who does not make mistakes and should always get the best or constantly criticize yourself or others and that things if not perfect have no value and that most of your energy goes on trying to avoid failure in any way possible... You often suffer from perfectionism.

The number of people with perfectionism has increased since the eighties as competition has become fiercer and compared to previous generations harsher. If you are one of those whom others describe as picky or that no matter how successful you are, you still feel insufficient, accompany us in the lines of this article to know some of the losses that may befall you in your journey to perfection. If you feel you have a real problem, we invite you to visit a specialist and seek help.

1- Poor productivity

You are a perfectionist so you will find that you tend to procrastinate, you tend to have everything perfectly organized. You will notice that you always put off actions and decisions because you always feel that it is not organized enough. You get anxious and stressed most of the time. You are someone who believes in everything or nothing at all, so you always wait for the right moment and situation that never comes. The endless wait for the right moment from your point of view to end up accomplishing nothing or accomplishing too little.

2- Weakness and vulnerability

You are an ideal person and therefore, you put yourself under a lot of pressure and feel that others or society are putting pressure on you as well. This makes you vulnerable to other problems such as anxiety, depression, loneliness, frustrations, impatience, anger, and obsessiveness. You will find that you always put yourself in comparison with others and see that you have not achieved any success or you see that people see in you a success that you have not already achieved, which is called imposter syndrome in that case the person sees himself as not matching the good image that people see him on.

3- Anxiety and depression

As we have mentioned, perfectionists always suffer from anxiety and stress and end up feeling depressed. This is when anxiety accumulates for a long time. The problem is that some are emotionally idealistic as well, so they often hide feelings of anxiety and frustration from others and therefore, they find no one to help them and drown in a sense of worthlessness or failure and frustration, and these negative feelings are very dangerous and may lead some to think about suicidal thoughts or self-harm and punishment. If you are experiencing these feelings and cannot express them with those close to you, we recommend that you consult immediately before the situation gets worse and spiralls out of your control.

4- Health problems

We've discussed the psychological damage of your constant pursuit of perfection, but it's not just about those damages. Some perfectionists suffer from hygiene and physical health disorders, and some even develop eating disorders as well. Some, for example, follow very strict diets, which can lead to obsessive-compulsive disorder. These people don't want their body to be one gram above the ideal weight and they exaggerate anxiety and stress every hour if they break the regimen or not, and some even lose weight every hour. Perfection for these people is linked to control everything must be completely under their control otherwise the results will be frustrating.

5- Tension or failure of relationships

Imposing exaggerated standards on loved ones from your family or friends has a profound effect on the tension between you and them. You always judge people as harshly as you judge yourself. You bring burdens into the relationship and impose them on the other party. This often leads to the failure of your relationships or their transformation into a toxic relationship in which the other party becomes a victim of your impossible idealistic expectations.